I have come to the conclusion that Fashion Management & Marketing is soul destroying to people who only have access to the right side of their brain. I also have gone for completely opposite life aims. My whole life I wanted to be at the top. The top of fashion, earning a lot of money and respect. However after countless internships and being a runner (the small person) at fashion shows, I have been able to see various people at the top with a lot of "respect". I'd rather gain respect from my own creativity then from being someone in PR who completely lose themselves once they get to the top. When I was working at Christopher Kane S/S 12 fashion show, as much as I adored the collection, I was only allowed limited time viewing the garments and was put on the guest list greeting celebrities such as Alexa Chung, who I admittedly am in love with. However whilst being on guest list I had one of the most interesting conversations I have ever had and that was with the body guard. He explained to me how long he had been doing door work at these shows and the amount of interns he saw change from creative enthusiasts, happy to talk to anyone no matter what role they are, who then completely lose themselves the next time he sees them at shows with an upgraded role, even from the slightest change of runner to fashion intern. I tried so hard to tell him that was exactly what I didn't want to change into. That once I got higher I would remember what it was like to be a fashion slave. He just shook his head and said he hoped I would be the exception. I don't want to lose myself, I want to remain creative. I don't care about the "glamourous life" anymore. The idea of having art and fashion without the life style is what I crave.